horrible day. i'm a fucking third year student.

i wanna learn to play a cajon (:

nope, disagree that girls can't play them! hahaha

today i'm still gonna admit, i'm a chinese pop fan. even though i ironically cant speak chinese properly :/

my compositions are starting to hit rock bottom.. or at least i feel that way. can't seem to break through to another level. getting comments like, "sounds very peixiu", which may be an individualistic thing but i see it more as a sign that it's time for a Change.

and i really need to throw all that unnecessary ego in me. it's a hinderance to my musical growth >:(

insane, insane. my pod is SOOO insane. hahahah i guess thats how it turns out to try to force too many ideas into 3 mins. gonna get bombed by erica :/

hahahah and i really realized how much my references can influence my songs. amazing.

Am I not eligible for provisional placement?!

Please tell me this is not true............ :(

I tried my best to think positive, but I can't for now.

I'm upset at the fact that I can't churn out a nice melody, and worse still, am bad at words(lyrics in this context).

The stuff I produce, I would think they are not unpleasant to the ears, but they don't contain the X-factor that makes it amazing, special, or even... memorable.

Seems like I'm not cut out to be a songwriter. Not the best performer, not the best arranger. What's left for me?

The sight of you gets me angsty. So i was right from the start.

People always change when they get into a relationship.

Some will drift from friends.

I hope this never fades away (: hehehe

what a peaceful monday (: well, if only i didn't need to go to school just to hand in assignment, waste 2.5hours there and back :( hahaha

hahaha if i've every monday free, i'd love call it swimming and baking day. or if i had a dog then it'll be "take my dog out" day! hahaha. just feels good to do different things and out of the regular routine.

wahaha maybe by adopting more interests i might be able to find something else i'm good at.. (:

argh need to stop spending money on cabs every week! >:( hahaha.

watched Lasalle's rhythm ensemble at esplanade today. quite shiok (: hahaha. but really man, good musicians are everywhere...... oh well.

and dinner at Bread For Life at the new marina link was quite bad, got me bloated yet unsatisfied! you'd probably like it if you love salty food :/ hahaha

oh goodness, where did all my money go, i'm soooo broke. sigh.

Perfection is a flaw
Perfection is a flaw
Accept this world the way it is
And a happier person we will be (:

WHO WHO WHO ELSE IS INTERESTED IN GOING TO ICOM??

Ahhh I really want to do contemporary arranging but singapore doesnt seem to offer something close to it! Probably composition in Lasalle.. But nahh not exactly.

Singaporeans usually go to ICOM because of the BTP(Berklee Transfer Programme).. I'm not exactly looking at that, Boston's wayyyyy to pricey for me. I just want to have lessons similar to our arranging classes now, but far far far more in depth. It seems like the most possible way is to be in KL now :/

Oh goodness, I thought I settled my mind on NIE?? bahhhhhhhhhhhhh

If i were a book, I'd probably have a cover that is dull and unappealing.

And then they say, "Never judge a book by its cover". So you flip open this book and you'll notice that the content is so pathetically trivial.

Everyone is moving forward so quickly. Some decides to be a Jack of all trades, just simply good enough for public's recognition, while others are aiming to be a master of one. Yet all that I see now is the sky that's directly above me. Or you could probably say, I never chose to jump out of that well, but I'm really trying.

Yes I'm surely improving, but the progress' so stagnant. Everyone's running ahead of me, while I try to chase them, possibly even following their footsteps.

Yup maybe imma be a book that's really unique, one day, It's still in search of its soul.