i need to make myself productive here otherwise i'd just be wasting my whole damn itp.

but how?

not gonna blame anyone but myself

the weekend zoomed past too quickly :( but it was damn fulfilling! suki buffet, step up 3, dvpt filming, last guitar lesson(kinda sad..) and starbucks with kay (:

hahah just hope i dont get monday blues everyweek now. wheee just registered for driving today. cant wait to drive on the road already dammit :D

THANK GOODNESS IT'S FUCKING FRIDAY!

so i'm at my fifth day of ITP now. waking up at 530am for the past few days.. kinda got used to it already.

but the worse part is that, it kinda made me really feel i'm not cut out to be a teacher. well, im not as interactive as them, im not as approachable as them, and i cant quite express myself well. i mean, it's known im a dao anti-social person. so htf do i become a teacher.

im quite worried about what's for me in the next 7-8 weeks to come. im excited to do lesson plans, but not to teach or handle a class. so far did relief for two classes, only goes to show i really dk how to handle.

and guess what? gonna have to do some performance for assembly. BIANGGGG :( hahah but the whole school's gonna go crazy over zaki :P hahah which alot of them already are. woohoo.

okay. gonna get ready for one last lesson in 30 mins, and im done for today WAHAHA

a teacher imparts knowledge

a good teacher are nannies of the children

请你告诉我
你可曾为我心动
就算只维持过那一分钟

so anyway. first day of itp. maaan dk what to say about it. it wasnt as bad as i expected, the kids were RATHER cute. in a sense they're playful and noisy but not too bad. mischievous is the word. hahaha.

first thing in the morning already staff meeting. then following was first lesson doing digital music.. then 2 classes of sec2s doing dance, and lastly sec1 learing about popular music. oh well.

i thought everything went pretty well until i heard what the others did. kinda sian diao. hahaha. but oh well. hope tomorrow will be a better day! (:

ooooooshhhhh.

hell begins tomorrow. im feeling so wobbly now. because so far there's nothing optimistic about the situation we're in. sighh. just hope everything's gonna go well.

hope this two months' gonna be awesome (wishful thinking), hahah because it honestly is one of my choice for my future career. although it's kinda not really my best option, but yeahh.. im worried that this two months will probably just make it even clearer that im not cut out to be a teacher and i suck at human relations. ahhh im thinking too much now...........................................

oh btw, anyone knows if there's like a scheme to teach for a short period of time? might do that just after we're done with year3 and waiting to do other stuff, uni etc...

oh well anyways all the best you fellow teachers! (:

so yup pod's over, itp's the next hurdle. mehhhh

and i think the coffee overdose from the past few days is still effecting on me, im feeling weirdly high today. talking damn alot :P

anyway, moe briefing today. hmm let's put it this way, if i can conquer regent sec, i can handle any secondary schools in singapore >:D heheh. that's if teaching is gonna be my future career. oh well..

hahah so here's a shopping list for myself:

• 3 button-down shirts
• 2 semi-formal blazers
• 3 pants [dammit cannot wear jeans :( ]
• shoes? idk if can wear sneakers but feel like just wearing it :P

hahah i can be a bimbo and this list will go on and on. yeah yeah itp is just an excuse for me to go SHOPPING SHOPPING SHOPPING! hahaha omg peixiu is bimbo.

i cant believe i've been up for more than 40 hours straight now, and the only part of me that's tired now are my eyes.. because im feeling damn high now hahaha. i think i broke my own record :P

hahahha. gosh i gotta admit im really really happy today (: haha. although im honestly not totally satisfied with my video but everyone's sooo encouraging and gave me tons of motivation :D hahaha. even the lecturers! wheee. hahaha.

hard work will pay off. jiayou peixiu! :D

AND THANKS TO ALL YOU GUYS WHO HELPED ME. THE THOUSANDS OF FAVOURS I OWE, I PROMISE I'LL RETURN! (:

and i know for sure, a few years down the road i'll rewatch my projects, laugh at how stupid they are, and missing the process of doing them (:

no matter what the outcome's gonna be, at least i enjoyed it. i may not be the best person to do video, but at least i know i tried my best.

gonna fight a battle tonight in hope for tomorrow to be awesome! yeeeeeeehah!

so pissed.

i even think that my demo mix is better than the one i'm mixing now to hand in.

argh. if i cant even like my song how do i convince people to like it.

last scene filming, subs, mix, voiceover, leadsheet, report, powerpoint.

mad mad mad fucking mad rush!

sigh i've been thinking about it recently, too much. and i seemed to have realised that it's a stable job that i really need after graduation, or rather, to have a stable income.

but no im surely not going for a 9-to-5 and get stuck in the office for the entire day kinda thing. but nothing that i like to do can pay me a stable income.

ahhh. daddy should be retiring but he's not, mom's not working. i need a proper job. i know nothing else but music and i still suck at it. wtf am i gonna do. can i continue to live in denial and think that everything's gonna be fine, and that there's still a long way to go?

7 months left.

it seems like the extension of pod made me a slacker :/ i cant focus on work!

peixiu peixiu peixiu, it's not just pod you have to do! 4 freaking assignments and not meant for last minute chionging. bleahhhhhh.

i seriously dont understand why and who are those people commenting in chinese on my blog? is it some virus or spam or what? argh.

anyway, went to town to film my last few scenes today, kaye mayer zhihui geok and i (: went quite well, and im so glad to say im almost done with my music video! :D just some final touch ups, and probably a little refilming for the lip sync scenes and all. hahaha. it's gonna be a cheesy cheena chin chong film so.. those at the pod presentation must be ready to be cheenafied for 7mins or so :P hahaha. but aiyo, my mix still damn cui.

and next week there's still pam presentation, songwriting, mumi, pam composition. how to finish, how how how? grr. hahaha

mm nevermind, peix is happy today (: HAPPY AUGUST!