first day of term 2 is already a long day. started at 11am and had recording today till 10pm which i didnt really make good use of the time. damn. work's piling piling piling.

oh exchange students from Keele university sat in today. and for performance, met Nicola (not too sure how you spell that :/ ), where i felt stressed the moment i saw her holding a clarinet. i can never feel confident in it. so i practically dont dare to go near anyone who's better. erica told her to come sit with me for warm ups. and so chatted with her, to find out that she's a freakingg grade 8. no offence, but really will stress one lehhh. dont know why, thats just how i am. oh and i think im overly comfortable with the Singlish, that i cant quite catch what she was trying to say with her strong ang moh slang. dont laugh at me. thats how i am. hahah.

today, basically not a too good day. goodnight friends.

third post for the day. i know i shouldnt get too emo over it. and its weird i cant really feel it, i dont know why. but the thoughts just keep spinning in my head. i was almost confident, but results let me down. i really thank all that consoled me and gave me support, but demoralism is bound to set in. im gonna stop whining now.

zhihui said something which i thought was inspiring.

"it's not a dream we're chasing, it's a goal we're achieving"

i hope this keeps me going.

i've still got a longgg way to go. being overconfident is really a bad thing. 

lets take things slow.

I often have people ask me very seriously if I think they "have what it takes" to succeed in the music business. I usually tell them it isn't what I think that matters—it is what they think. Sometimes I want to say, "If you have to ask that question chances are no, you don't have it." 

by Michael Anderson

i think this is so true. 

it takes alot of hard work to be a really good musician. where's that drive to keep me moving? 3 more days to start of school, my work's not even half done. have been doing work the past 3 days but yet im still not close to completing. whyyy? argh.. but oh wells. not gonna blog unhappy stuff today. haha

major shopping with clarice on monday. didnt buy much but spent all my money -.- bought a pair of heels (yes, heels) and a shirt. haha. plus food for that day, there goes 100 bucks T_T but had fun, cam-whored alot. haha. and yesterday after doing work with azh and geok for one whole day, went to bpp's garden plaza to chill. cam-whored even more. hahaha. yesterday was awesome, fun and productive. haha.

the new heeeeels :D

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whee (:

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and the most unglam moments...

emo1

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emo2

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emothreeeee!

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hahaha. this is ultimate. unglam+vulgar. tsk tsk. hahah

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ahhhhchoooooo!

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sweeties :D

happy father's day..


i yearn for something reallly simple, but why does it seem so tough to get? really hate the way how it works. why do we have to split into two tables. is that a family gathering? i really envy life like yours. siblings to rant and talk your heart to, kids with innocent faces that smile when they see you, a husband so perfect thats always by your side. a closely-knitted bunch of people. why cant i be part of you guys? i wish i can always be a young girl, that never will grow up. at least i dont have to fake out how i feel. i want to talk to you all, like how any person would to their relative, where words like cousins/aunt/uncle are not just in name. the dinner ended, with me telling myself throughout: 不准哭...

happy father's day.

woohoo. outing with KAY at ECP on wednesday. hahah. went to changi airport to buy like tons of junk food and took a bus down. haha. reached ECP like about 12 plus. when the sun is like the hottest T_T haha. so found a place under a tree, and had awesome potato balls zhihui made, and all the junk food like nuts and chips. haha. in the end the weather was so hot, so was like really falling asleep. so we left ECP and went to marina to chill. hahaha. sat outside esplanade from evening until 10 plus at night. talked alot of shit. hahaha. maybe because abit seh. haha. but not really, can still remember whatever we said. hahaha.

had the DMIT video shoot yesterday. didnt even know its gonna be such a big production. haha. not that big lah but still bigger than what i thought. haha. i even thought it was gonna be a short thing, that will finish in 2 hours. in the end the entire thing ended at 530, which was 9 hours. argh. hahaha. somehow i shouldnt have been part of this.. its just.. weird for me to be. but oh wells. hahah. it was really quite fun lah, probably the only time im gonna play with them. although half the time my keyboard was without sound, just fake only. hahaha. and omg the running away from imaginary rocket shooting is just funny. hahaha. i really CMI. but omg you got to see the other three. damn cool lah they all. hahah. was a great experience, if only i can be more 放得开.. then it'll be really fun.

met clarice after that. supposedly to shop but i was so tired by then ): ate HPC. then went starbucks for a drink and a caramel waffle :D really damn pig. eat eat eat. hahah. also supposed to meet azh and geok to study today, but im too tired to get out of the house. so im just gonna chiong work at home. haha.

aiming to finish REMT assgn 2, start BUMS research, and continue with the arrangement of the song today. please give me the concentration and motivation. JIAYOU! :D

i cannot help but have the temptation to blog. today is a long, heavy day. as i said, waking up at 6 just to book studio. then ya. morning was quite emotionless. then met azh and geok for practice. which i thought didnt go that well. didnt feel the highness. then wanton mee for dinner was so much better than the one at far east -.- then lesson was. alright. laoshi taught us quite some stuff. about like the processor and memory and all that about a Mac, and how useful it is to run my music softwares. Logic, Protools, he knows them all. he really zai sia. cannot stand it.

vahhh. went to school at like 730 and there's already year3 seniors queuing outside comtech -.- in the end only got 2 hours to book. sigh. hahah. and here's the one main reason why im blogging now. jon dyed his hair again. haha. and now he and zaki are like absolute twins. hahah. and because they refuse to let me take a picture of them tgt, i only got this ): hahaha


hahah its not that obvious here, but you can roughly imagine how similar they look. haha

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met cs for breakfast. too long never meet already. hahah. she's as high as ever. okay. im so tired, gonna nap. only got one hour, then meeting kay :D

went PK today. hahah. feel damn sad lah howww can laoshi not get in?!?! ): today criteria really damn strict loh. you're disqualified if you're like just 10 mins late :/ damn hiong lah. haha. okay and i cant find other things to blog about. oh oh oh. im sooo looking forward to PJ party and ECP with KAY! :D haha. and zoo with dmats :D and shopping with clar :D yup yup. im filling up my holidays for that. and of course, the undone work. hahah.

what are the chances of you remembering i was once part of your memory, ten years down the road?
then what are the chances of me forgetting that you were once part of my memory, thirty years down the road?
lets make a bet. zero percent.

4th day of the holiday is over. i need to freakinggg complete yu lian. supposed to like only have a simple arrangement for the demo to submit in, but i ended up doing all kinds of shit and adding more and more stuff. now things become more complicated and i need to spend even more time. argh ):

this holiday is really not the time that we can have the mentality that, oh its the holidays. in fact i think it's gonna be more busy than school itself. because there's just too many things that need to be done by like too soon.

sometimes i feel so bitchy. being angry at the slightest things. is like can't you learn to be more understanding? the world doesnt revolve around you. you're not the greatest person on Earth. oh and, i dont need a reason for saying this, you know what i mean.

whee. celebrated brudder's birthday yesterday. haha. apparently the gift didnt seem to be that big a surprise for him, because i think we kinda made it toooo obvious. sigh. hahah. but glad he likes it :D so SPX for two consecutive days was.. quite alright. the recording side is supposingly quite fun, but the people dont seem to be very enthu ): but oh wells.

the whyyy-oh-lynn which i think he named it Amaranth (:

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shit man, im left with 6/7 of my holidays, but i did not even start with my work! gonna hopefully finish yu lian's vox tomorrow, then quickly mix and submit. then i'll have time for my work. grr. my daddy is just sooo cool. he supplies me with whatever i need for my work. but just that most of the time i dont ask ): i appreciate it. but i just dont know how to express it. really. i love my parents. so much that it cannot be expressed with words or actions. dear God, please bless them.

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im leaving you task of proving to me something that i didnt use to believe can work out.

because i really hope this will stay. but eventually things will change, and i'll leave.

okay holidays are here again. hmm i dont know but i think this time it wont feel like a holiday because of the tons of work i need to complete. grr. haha. had awesome steamboat with kay yesterday. then chilling out at esplanade and talking our hearts out. and without the filters. haha. all azh's fault :p

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haircut today. and slacked abit with geok. the queue at cathay is like omg. are there so many freakingg people with that dream in singapore? hahaha.

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sometimes when night falls,

i begin to wonder,

where's that something that's missing?

emptiness. who and what's filling that up?

how fucking stupid can i be. doing things without thinking of consequences. i freakinggg want to turn time back now. sorry to those i hurt. 

fuck you CBK

the happiest and best reason why i chose to do music (:

its gonna be hard to do well this year. seriously. 

peixiu, stop being so emo over this shit. you're being a hopeless case that complains and not do anything about it.