1. i turned 19, crystal jade, crab, manhatten fish market!
2. and azh turned 19, RWS hard rock cafe, sentosa chalet!
3. concerts, micappella, spco, amkss band
4. iPhone :D
5. POD
6. COVER SONG
7. ARK

i dont even know why the month of may passed SOO fast. it felt like a few days ago when i thought "oh it's May my favourite month!" -.- today's the last day of May. which means SIAO LIAO one month to cover song deadline, two months to POD and yup two weeks to HK :D hahaha. at least something i still look forward to. heh

actually, i'm alright coping with everything else except Ark i guess. it's still stressful and to some point, demoralizing. but oh well. i'm glad people there are nice at least (:

lack of manpower, time constrains and not expert enough at video editing techniques. will my mv turn out like how it is supposed to be?

i'm damn scared it doesn't. because this seems like a video that will only work out if it's very well done, otherwise it'll just be crap. argh stress stress :(

storyboard, filming locations, casts, filming schedule, music and video synchronization :(((

wow, she just made it seem like my past 2 years of intense music, and well audio(nothing really much to complain about this) education has totally gone to waste. i mean, i know it didn't of course, but at that very moment, and up till now, im feeling like that. sigh :(

for the past 2.5 years, besides doing a diploma in music and audio which is already a huge amount of time spent, vocal and guitar lessons both also for 2.5 years. KAY's stuff? i feel like my entire life now is just surrounding music. but don't get me wrong, i love what i'm doing, and i love how my time is spent. but i'm not seeing the results i wish to.

my singing's said to be 刺耳, irritating to the ear that is, and that my control isn't good. therefore i have to throw away whatever i've learnt and start from basics. alex, is this really what i should do?! for 2 years you trained me to sing out sing bright, now i need to throw that all away :( sigh. i'll stick with choosing simple songs with small vocal ranges, that's not a problem, but asking me to throw my techniques, cannot :(

and yeah. currently just very demoralised. but not gonna give up whatsoever. damn i'm an emo girl now :(

it's days like these i kinda get super emo over stuffs. maybe im pmsing. p for post, in this case. haha.

but it really sucks to see how we've drifted. in my mind i'll be like: who exactly are you? i don't feel this with every person, but i'm feeling it because we share a special bond, that i feel is there, but apparently the feeling doesnt seem mutual anymore.

im envious when i see them flauting on facebook, they are really happy. but its not just envious, also nostalgic because we used to be like that once. (im not sure if i used nostalgic correctly but yeah thats roughly what i mean)

hahaha. i realised on average i have a day in every month that i feel this way. damn.

you know, i suddenly feel that i'm very lucky to be in DMAT. 

im not as good as some others who are dying to get in, and yet i didn't really have to put in much effort like going through interviews and auditions to try and get in, because i know if i had to, i wont be here probably. 

yes, i am very lucky. i thank God for that (:

what's your purpose of being here? i mean, it shouldnt really matter to me but dont question my passion.

oh one more thing. blogs are meant for the freedom of speech. others dont have to stop posting anything just because it doesnt suit your eye. 

argh, hypocrites. bad morning.

omg Govin Tan. hahaha. was doing some last min research for pam presentation and i suddenly remembered seeing him play at the arts house last year. so went to find videos and information about him. he's only freaking 18 this year and he's chinese. what an amazing local tabla player! he's so.. amazing. hahaha

the weekend was grrrrrrrrrrrreat!

friday. crystal jade dinner with the primaries, they got me a glam bag and glam a manuscript book and a cute doggy toy (: hahaha. then was MICappella concert, awesome awesome awesome! and then starbucks with kay, come to think about it, was like my first time having a cake at 12 midnight! if i didnt rmb wrongly.. hahaha

saturday. lunch wih kay at Crab Party in yck. hahah. damn shiok chilli crab :D hahaha. then dinner at Manhattan fish market with daddy and mama, then walked ard clarke quay (: hahaha. felt like a pig, just kept eating for the two days. woohooo!

today. GOOD rest at home! :D hahaha

oh and daddy got me an iPhone for my birthday! hahaha :D

omg. i cant believe i actually watched the Nightwish's Phantom of the Opera video for five times today. just keep playing and playing. like ahhhhhh omg. i LOVE their version of Phantom!

hahaha. and yes yes yes thursday is over over over :D just need to get home quick and bathe and get on my bed, and not think about anything else for now!

today's was better day.

felt quite good practicing just now, because fanny suggested i should tell alicia to let me play only on alternate weeks if i cant handle every week. i was quite relieved when i heard that. but the thing is now.. i dont even know if i really can do every two weeks. coming home after a longggg day out and thinking about still having to practice 30 songs with no time at all to do work, mental+physical torture.

and i need to complete my demo arrangement for the pod song by saturday to send to the sessionists so they can play on monday, and get the 3 vocal parts done before wednesday's pract. how on earth do i find time before saturday?! argh.

yes yes im complaining complaining and complaining everyday because i just need to rant, and im too tired trying to practice more so im blogging. why did i even think i was gonna be damn free and take up another responsibility thats pulling me down down down now. sigh. my own problem lah.

friday saturday faster come. i need retail and makan therapy. gah gah la la bah bah vaaaaa

am i too weak, or is it really just too overwhelming? i think im too weak, no i think its too overwhelming. argh !@#$%%@$&

maybe now's not the right time.

good day today (:

did more than i thought i could, half the song arranged :D

hmm wanted to watch Kickass today, went to buy tickets at 1 for a show at 8 plus. and only left with the first two rows. hate weekend crowd grrr. hahaha. and the temperature today freaking 35 degrees, felt like i just bathed after the journey to town. bahhh. i wish the weather's like genting, not too cold, just very cooling 20 degrees. woooooh!

Starbucks,
And a conversation about life and how we've been going in circles.
:D


all i know is that my life wont be complete without them (:

what's wrong with me? i've been feeling tired too easily these few days. and it's the uncomfortable kind of tired :( sigh. cant seem to stay up/concentrate on work at home now. grr

and i'm getting so emotional nowadays too. all of a sudden i'm missing a lot of people. and come to think about it, many people who were once a huge part of my life are leaving or have left. why cant i seem to keep them in? i miss you guys a lot, even though i seem like i dont.

peixiu is really anti-social. i hate her for that.

It's a freaking busy month of May.

Handed in POD proposals today, presentation on friday. And after doing the gantt charts i realised how little time we have. I've to finish a whole song, arranged, recorded and mixed before leaving for HK in june (something happy to look forward to though :D ). and POD's not the only thing to worry about!

hahaha. school work aside, ark just called to say all the singers are to prepare 10 songs each, and the keyboardist plays for all the songs. so yup. 60 songs in a week for me. woohoo! but im really thinking, can we finish playing 60 songs in three hours? doesn't seem like it. hmmm. TIME TIME TIME. we need to be best friends.

okay. back to work. indian music is so damn confusing. raga, swara, asavari thaat, gooloo gooloo. hahahahaha.