SUNDAY, 31 AUGUST 2008

had breakfast in the morning with cs, at bpp mos burger. talked about alot of stuff. it was then i realised how weak we humans are, and how prone we are to the danger around us. we will never know what the future holds for us. flip open the newspapers, turn on the radio and listen to the news, watch the horrifying pictures on tv as they report deaths from all over the world. worse still, from those around us. despite all these, have we not learnt that we must treasure every single moment we have with the ones we love? why wait till the day when we cannot do anything about it and we start to regret, probably even for life. i dont want it that way.. im afraid. afraid that my loved ones would leave me, for one reason or another. God, please bless those in pain, trouble, and those facing problems. please watch over them, guard over them.

yeah yeah, damn emo i know. haha. now enough of all that emo stuff. KAY came over today again, did qing tian and shan hu hai. will post the vids later (: and then went for dinner at amk, STEAMBOAT! :D hehe. and i had a good 30 mins queue for this durian pancake from amk hub. but i gotta say that it is worth the wait, its GOOD :D really. hahah

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明知我会心动，为什么还来扰乱我的思绪？ (seems like its best i phrase in chinese :/)

SATURDAY, 30 AUGUST 2008

haha, performed 挥着翅膀的女孩 at unplugged open stage today. was alright, just that we were horribly rushing. tempo has always been a general problem for KAY ): sighs. haha. ADC, ADC, ADC; to join or not to join, thats a question. $$$$$$ is what i badly need now.... rahh. and i feel like putting in much more effort on the music side. i mean, more on KAY's development. plans to do at least 2 of our own songs by the end of this year, hopefully we'll be able to, and receive good comments (: sighs, am quite sad because i have been pangseh-ing geok and zhihui these days. as in, not being so involved with u all. i do realise that, AND IM REALLY SORRY ): sighs.

anyways, after guitar lesson, went to seowhung and renjie's cmcc concert today at SAM. singapore arts museum that is. haha. was.. alright. haha. then dinnered at LJS and homed. yesterday was shuyue's dance concert at victoria theatre. haha. she is really a dancer, so flexible and natural (: haha. and finally it marks the end of the whole bunch of concerts this month: ryan's orchestra, ken's CO, shuyue's dance, seowhung and renjie's cmcc.. (oh and if jon and my competition also counts..) haha. in total spent about 50 bucks on all these. and it probably explains why im so broke.. siann. haha. pictures for the past.. 3 days (:

aww. ryan stuck in between.. ken daddy and jon mummy :p HAHA

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(:

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shuyue and cladys! (:

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laopo and mei mei :P haha

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shuyue and boy(space)friend! (:

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daddy and mei mei :P

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great job shuyue! :D

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renjie, ryan, me, jas, seowhung, ken (:

great job too renjie and seowhung! :D

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why do memories of you gush into my head all of a sudden like before? you're haunting me.. my heart's not being controlled once again. also because i dont have the determination to...

and woots.. today i drew 70 bucks out of my bank, and all gone right now :/ SIANNNNN. so im not gonna go out tm except and only for the concert. haha. kinda freaky, sitting with mrs soh :P haha. so how did i spend my money today?? hmmm

okayy. so the day started with meeting at the station at 2, and this time round we were all supposed to be on time. but the latest reached at 245. merry christmas. hahha. then we walked to wheelock for sakae buffet. was quite shiok to be able to eat without thinking how many plates we ate. haha. but i died after about an hour or so. haha. then felt like sleeping after that :P yeahhh. that was 25 bucks gone, including another 15 for jon. 40 bucks bye bye. okay then after that went to paradiz ARCADE again T_T but today got improvement, i only spent 3 bucks. hehe. then ya lent 20 bucks to zhihui and thats about it. moneyyyyy notttt enoughhhhhh T_T haha. yup yup. anyways, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO REBECCA AND CHULIEN!! its past 12 now so its your birthdays today (: haha.

now im afraid of being alone, because i will always feel empty once you leave.

when you walk away
i count the steps that you take
do you see how much i need you right now?

today was quite a bad day. first started with me waking up an hour late to go meet dmaters. then while i was on the way, felt so uncomfortable all of a sudden and had to alight at teck whye, to puke :/ think it was because of the medicine i took without eating anything else in the morning. bought a cake and water to settle that stomach, so in the end made me 1.5hr late to meet them. sorry! then next was walking around guitar shops at bras basah to satisfy jonadab and keith and probably houston. yup yup. then went to paradiz to look at taylor guitars. well actually i was falling asleep in there :P hahaha. so jas, seowhung and i went to have macs. and after that, everyone came back from where they left for, and jas, seowhung, jon, elliot, keith and i went to ARCADE AGAIN T_T i spent.. $7.50 this time rounds. cries for $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ T_T hahhhaaha. then yeah. home after that. haha.


yesterday dinner at brewerkz. finally, after one month plus. well we said we wanted to go since one month plus ago and now finally. haha. originally ken was supposed to come along, but he had something on ): yeahhh.

shiokzzzzz (:
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black bottom pie(frozen ice cream cake :D) and a bloody mary :P hehe
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as usual, the last survivor, still going strong on the cake :P hahhaha.
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jas, the drunk ryan :p, jon, meeee (:
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laogong laopo (: clarke quay has great night ambience :D hahha.
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God please bless those having problems and troubles now. its feels terrible not being able to help. please watch over them Lord.....
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dont let me be so used to you, i hate the feeling of emptiness after that..

just came back from ken's co concert. walked damn alot today. with my slightly levered heels. cant be compared to cladys' definitely. hahah. anyway great job boy(space)friend :D haha


so today started with breakfast with cs at fajar macs. talked alot as usual. haha. its like our catching up meal. haha. then went home and changed to go meet ryan and people supposedly at 2, but it was about 330 when we all reached :P haha. so ryan, keith, elliot, chulien, seowhung and i went to pastamania for lunch, then ARCADE again! dunno whether to put :D or ): hahah. and in the end i didnt buy my scores again. must go get asap, to start practice this hols. haha. yup yup. then headed to SCH and the rest(jas, cladys, wendy, doreen and michelle) joined us. so after that fabulous concert, took a picture, and then ken left to go back to bbcc, while the rest of us walked our way to marina square for dinner/supper at yoshi. haha. then homed (:



it has been raining recently and we always end up walking in the rain. better not fall sick :/ take care! haha.



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and when the night falls, i begin to wonder...

its been quite some time since i last uploaded pictures. haha. so here's some for today. so as usual went for guitar lesson today, and before that had some food at Just Acia at dhoby exchange. haha. then after guitar class, went to meet jas, cladys, elliot, rebecca and ryan at esplanade. bought my budget dinner, mc-chicken and apple pie which costed $3 in total, and da bao to eat outside while waiting for fireworks to start. haha. waited for about 1.5hours and it finally started at 9.05pm odd. was spectacular but not amazingly good. today's one was representing KOREA! :D then they even played the da chang jin song. hahaha. yups. boy(space)friend's concert tmr, or rather later. haha. jiayou!

it seems like all pics at night look the same :p

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i love this golden rain thing (:

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what a typical view of SINGAPORE. hahah

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supper at chippy (:

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after elliot went to take EWL.. the five jie muixzxz. OPPS :p HAHAH

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and i dont know how to react to it.. sighs.

if the brain knows it, it can control the heart. but if the heart chooses not to be controlled?

and sometimes i seem to wonder what can i really do. almost nothing. well i'd be lying if i said im absolutely alright with the results. my dreams are like slowly diminishing. i wonder what exactly did God give me that i can be proud of. what will i end up in future? what will i be?

when i was just a little girl,
i ask my mother,
what will i be?
will i be pretty?
will i be rich?
here's what she said to me.

Que sera, sera,
whatever will be, will be.
the future's not ours to see,
Que sera, sera.

well, i see it now. caught a glimpse of it.

congrats to geok and zhihui. im sorry KAY cant do this together. and im sorry i lied i'm alright with it.

and from today is what i really consider holidays. finally math file handed up, which is the last thing of this semester. and ronnie told me i didnt make it for the test. although already expected but i still felt quite shit. math teacher wannabe, now cmi already ): sighs. then yeah went to ps for gelare, yamaha and arcade. i played outrun 4 times. which i once won keith :D haha. chalet, im gonna save up for arcade. outrun and bishi bashi! and house of the dead if there is. haha.

yesterday went to marina after math test. 3 days in a row -.- haha. but this time was to enjoy and not mug anymore. so we had LJS for late lunch, then went arcade also, :D then they had dinner at LJS again -.- but jas, sy and i had jap ice cream (: haha. then went to watch MEET DAVE. that show is damn funny. haha. LOLOL. then reached home at about 11 plus and slept. damn tired after all that chionging. haha

well, i have no idea what to say. probably besides sorry.

the past 2 days have been shitty, exhausting and bad. friday went for dinner at vivo, although we were supposed to watch movie but didnt. and finally handed up remt, keys test over. now left with midi and math test tmr T_T

then sat was crap too. went to kbox in the morning but it wasnt really for karaoke but more for practice for the auditions. and the auditions, dont wish to mention. was like the worse audition i ever had. then guit class, and went to study at marina square subway to study till 11 plus and homed at reaching 1am. and worked the whole night doing midi which i only complete 2 by 7.30am this morning. slept for 3 hours, woke up at 1030 and went to MS to study again today.

then today also went for ryan's concert. first time going for an orchestra concert. i love that majestic sound when the whole orchestra plays tgt, esp the trombones :D i like it! haha. yup. i doubt i'll have much sleep tonight, got 3 more midi to complete. im only left with 6 hours... :/ math test=die.

good luck dmat for math test!

having midi now, dying of exhaustion and boredom. had 2 hours of sleep this morning before coming to school for ET. then again i wonder to myself: 

Music AND Audio tech. it is what my course is all about. yes i love music, alot. but what about audio tech? used to dislike it, but have been trying to like it since the day i was in DMAT. but it seems like until today, there is still no passion for it in me. in fact, im tired of it :/ midi, remt, they absolutely stress me out. seeing what the others can do, i feel like an absolute noob. listening to the stuff they produce makes me feel inferior; why is it that given the same sort of materials and programmes, my work is just no where near theirs? Demoralism is sinking in. 

but i will not give up, only because my passion for music will sustain. i will still work towards my dream, but its hard for me stay cheerful about the obstacles i face. oh, but i still love dmat really, the people that is. 

you may not see who i really am, no more. 

look at me
you may think you see who i really am
but you'll never know me
everyday
it's as if i played a part

now i see
if i wear a mask
i can fool the world
but i cannot fool my heart

who is that girl i see
staring straight back at me
when will my reflection show
who i am inside

i am now
in a world where i have to hide my heart
and what i believe in
but somehow
i will show the world what's inside my heart
help me look for who i am

who is that girl i see
staring straight back at me
why is my reflection someone i don't know
must i pretend that i'm someone else
for all time
when will my reflection show
who i am inside

there's a heart that must be free to fly
that burns with a need to know the reason why

why must we all conceal
what we think
how we feel
must there be a secret me
i'm forced to hide
i won't pretend that i'm someone else
for all time
when will my reflection show
who i am inside

if i were to sing this song again, i'd do it better, because i'd be singing what im thinking right now.
i am alone, inside me...

had a good long one hour wait for claypot rice at toa payoh lorong 5. but its so good, its worth the wait (: had three bowls of it :P haha. and now its back to remt-ing..

my plan for upcoming week:

tonight: RINGTONEEEEEEE

monday: pratice keys
midi

tuesday: study music theory
midi/ringtone

wednesday: midi
ringtone

thursday: practice keys
midi

friday: MATHS T_T

i need to follow this plan, i really need to. otherwise i can just get my work marked late. i deserve this for doing last minute work ): gonna chiong ringtone, can forget about sleep first :/
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and the days felt like years when i'm alone..
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everything that i do, reminds me of you..
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and i just saw these photos in my camera today! they took it without me knowing. haha


thanks guys (:

HAPPY NATIONAL DAY! and HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEITH! (:

woke up with only 5 hours of sleep and then went to taka to try and find some spongebob toy. but walked ard taka, cine and heeren and still cant find. so last min no choice we bought other spongebob stuff as keith's present. SORRY! :/ then ate at seoul garden, sat there from 1-4. made the 23 bucks damn worth it. haha. ESPECIALLY JASMINE :P hahaha. then after that went on to wisma then paragon. toysrus! and guess what -.- saw many SPONGEBOB TOYS which we didnt manage to find in the morning. AHHHH. sian. haha. had like lots of fun and laughed damn alot in toysrus. i think we've a deprived childhood :p haha.

ryan, elliot, me, jas, keith, boy(space)friend, milli (:

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eeyore couch :D

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and thats how much it costs o.O i want.... haha

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kungfu panda bag!

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ryan so cute!! hahaha

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characters from kungfu panda! err maybe except that.. cookie monster. hahaha

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master shifu went shopping! :D

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happy birthday keith (:

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fireworks wasnt that nice this year somehow :/

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dinner with parents at suntec then went to watch fireworks. quite disappointing. oh wells. haha.

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"always remember to be happy because you will never know who's falling in love with your smile"

i like this statement, but.. how true can it be?

and back with pictures today. for cs's birthday celebration and yesterday.

AJISEN! :DD

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HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY CHENXIN! :DDD

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okay and a random pic: shuyue being drawn by jimmy, supposed to look like "two-face" from dark knight. hahaha.

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at the backstage........ jonadab was mad. hahaha

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and yups, us at backstage. congrats jon (:

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just came back for dinner at raffles place. now gonna start to chiong remt. aiming to stay awake till at least 4 to do my ringtone. -_- exhausted! sighs.

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why is it so hard..?

7 AUGUST 2008, THURSDAY

and its at last over, tiring day today. but once again,
THANKS TO DARLINGS KATH, GEOK AND AZH! :D
THANKS TO BELOVED DMAT who came down to support us! :D

but it might have been disappointing though.

oh and CONGRATS TO JON FOR WINNING 3RD PLACE! :D
although i felt you deserve to win the first prize (: but oh wells, really happy for you, from the bottom of my heart :D

yup, photos tmr. guess it'll all be fine by then. yup.

KAY'S SECOND VIDEO UPLOADED (:

hui zhe chi pang de nu hai by joey yung :D

finally tonight we went karaoke after one month, when its supposed to like be once every fortnight. but didnt go because of time constrains and financial issues.. but today we finally went again :D and my throat is seriously damn tired, probably because i've been singing alot these days and im starting to force voice out of my throat because im too tired. haha.

HPT auditions tmr, will be doing yong gan. geok and zhihui chose that for me. haha. JIAYOU ya! :D and hopefully we can do our hui zhe chi pang de nu hai tmr as well (:

as confusion lies within me, its tough to make a decision...

okay and today was fun :D err maybe not so much of the morning part. hehe. but cladys and i(CLAYEEX) earned $2 for ET today :DD and i used it to buy chicken wings. haha. then midi test was total crap :/ crapping my way through the paper. haha. then slacked, slacked, slacked until 6 plus. okay not really slack, was doing music theory till i almost went mad. haha. then ryan, milli, jon and i went to PS for dinner at pastamania.

then vocal lesson today was fun, or probably just to me luh :D we had 3 more audience, because jon, milli and ryan came in and sat thru my class. like wooohhh. hhaha. so i told them how impressive laoshi was. yups. hehe. YAYYY :D