recently, i've been seeing people getting so emo/depressed/unhappy/lonely.. whatever. and it's so scary that they don't show it on the surface. i dont recall feelings being so complicated, just a few years back. it was all just, happy is happy, sad is sad. simple as that. but now, the two sides that people are showing gets so overwhelming and unbelievable. 

hahah, and you know what the ironic thing is, i am exactly like that too. 

i dislike reading blog posts/fb status/twitter updates of people whom i think i am really close to and realize that i dont actually know what they are talking about, why they're sad, what happened to them, etc. not that im such a kaypo but, previously without all these technology stuff, it was just simply sending an sms "hey, im not really feeling good today, wanna hangout?" 

i'm seeing a major difference between myself virtually and in real life. 

and oh, i've never been this self conscious in my life, it was ever since that day, somehow. i dont dare to really be myself anymore. i feel like the real me is so.. bitchy. argh fuck it. 

this is just a summary of what i am thinking now. everything's in a mess...