feeling sucky.

oh man i ate like a pig today. chicken rice in school, frosted malt ice cream at swensens, egg tart from kfc, cinnamon melts and fluffy from McCafe, all fattening stuff.

i better be spending time wisely tomorrow. workload's like mad. POD proposal due in three days and wtf am i gonna be doing?? for the past whole week i've been thinking, like really thinking, but cant actually decide on anything. and remt/arr cover song is due on 1st july. 2 months from now. argh ):

and yup, i've decided to go HK. but im feeling kinda weird, like as though something's gonna screw up..

sigh, for the past week my brain's like overloading. im thinking of too many things at the same time until i feel soo disorganised. and it's not just work to think about, everything else seems to be falling apart as well. blahhhh.

oh ark. we're on probation for three months. and in the month of May we'll be singing on thursdays. stressed, so stressful to even think about it ):

oh, a debate. it's one of the most unpleasant way of learning for me, because i never will participate in a class debate, since secondary school days. why? maybe i'm just anti-social or something. hahaha

2 years ago, i thought there was a change in me, like i became more talkative and sociable or something. everyone seemed nice and fun to be with. but now i seem to be going back to those days, cant really talk to anyone. haha. oh well. 

i'm still having a tough time making decisions. hk or not, what's for pod, where to go for itp, and what's after year3.. blah blah blah. my head's exploding. yeah i should do one thing at a time. 

yawns. what's with today. feels.. sucky. 

oh and i want to make a trip down to spca one day!

school this semester seems damn shiok, for now. hahaha. like there's alot of free time. but workload is crazy heavy. and its only first week and i have to make so many tough decisions.

1. -what exactly should i do for POD?? i thought i had alot of ideas but now when i really need to prepare the proposals and all i realised i havent actually developed the ideas well enough yet :/
2. -what should i source for ITP? spoke to Glow about OITP but.. argh being away two months, thats more than twice of Harbin man. and what will i do if im overseas? or should i just stick with teaching in singapore? bleahhhh.
3. -REMT cover song. so many songs in mind but all has got their pros and cons.
4. -well. and the toughest one of all is this. one of the places i really wanna go since young, and it's such a rare, no i should say last opportunity for a study trip in SP. tv station, production company, recording workshops.. fucking attractive. but how? i dont wanna break a promise. conscience vs heart. PK. blahhhhhhh. sorry if you do see this :/

yeahhh. thats was mainly the first week of school. hahaha. oh celebrated jon's birthday yesterday, very very belated. hahaha. seowhung made this huge huge photo collage card and we all signed on it. hahaha. and we managed to do what we wanted to do but didnt for him last year, which was swensens. hahaha. yup so much for now (:

yeahhh i listen and LOVE cheena and chin chong music so what are you gonna do about it? 

and get things clear before you even speak.

fuck, so fucking pissed. 

its kinda weird how i'll feel this way. irritatingly weird!

1. everyone's blog is so dead. including mine, of course. hahaha. it's three days to school reopen and i'm already trying to adjust back my body clock by waking up at 5am in the morning to work for my dad. dont know how people tahan sitting through conferences that last the whole day, all about ultrasound and gynaecology. 12 hours yesterday, 12 hours today, another 12 hours tomorrow DD: so we as AV technicians sit through with them. woohoo!

2. hahaha. sigh. why do people like to think so much? making the simplest things so complex, making the world seem so dark. we're only 18 years old, or 19. why dont we live life happily before we become adults? if you cant control how your life is like, then change your perception and mindset. hahah okay just a random thought. 

3. i never felt such a strong need for money. as in like a huge sum of money. i know doing music is expensive, but i never knew the extent until now. have been thinking alot recently. i really want to go for the summer programme next year. but how to save/earn/get 20K in a year's time? even if i have the 20K, is it really worth to spend it all in 5 weeks? grr. few months ago, i was so determined that i wont get a job until i finish my year3, and i've been persuading people to try and not work because year3's gonna be heavy. and what now? i'm thinking of part time jobs. im so contradicting. argh. even if i work like a dog i wont get 20K by next year. sigh.

4. okay happy happy now, S.H.E concert tomorrow :D but im gonna miss their opening ceremony for the circle line tomorrow because of work :'( wahhhh. 

grr, i so angry at myself. why must i change what i really like because of what the society sees and thinks? stupid mentality of mine. screw that barrier

oohlala im back from genting! three things i love in this trip:

1. 1.BASKIN' ROBBINS, SOOO DAMN GOOD :D
2. 2.ROLLER COASTER MADNESS! :D
3. 3.LOWEST TEMPERATURE 15 DEGREE CELSIUS! hmm i never remembered genting being this cold, hahaha. average temperature beats that three weeks in Harbin maaaaan!
   

hahaha. kinda sad. now there's nothing to look forward to already :( i want to do even more crazy stuff in the remaining two weeks! or at least have fun :D hahaha.

i want to go back and play 10 more times of Corkscrew, yes thats the name of the biggest roller coaster in Genting hahah, and i want to play the ride that's on maintenance yesterday :( and i want to go eat Baskin' Robbins, and i want to.. yup thats about it :D

rainy misty cloudy cold (:

:D